First of all, I’m normally a pretty good typer. The most useful class I took in high school was touch typing and I use it every freaking day, 10 hours a day…
But man, not having use of my ring finger really impinges on my ability to type, so forgive me for the errant puncutation mark or typo.
Truthfully, I always thought the ring finger was a bit redundant … I mean, sure, I am a big fan of the thumb - the workhorse of the hand, prehensile and all. And you have to respect the index finger for its finesse and agility. Working together those two account for 80% of what makes us human.
And we’re all familiar with the middle finger, a constant companion since middle school when we first learned to move it independently from its neighbors. One can’t help but to be awed and inspired by its strength and righteousness, even when standing alone and resolute against any perceived slight or injustice.
And the pinky wins us over with its daintiness and finesse; even the name suggests a certain degree of charming femininity. If the thumb and index account for 80% of our humanity, the pinky accounts for 95% of our civility. Perhaps that’s why one extends the pinky when dining in high society - an attempt over-emphacize the pinky and thus appear more refined and civilized. Also perhaps why the Yakuza punish dishonor to the clan by chopping off the offenders’ pinkies; the loss of their pinkies breaks the facade and we can see them for the uncultured and uncivillized thugs that they are.
But the poor, hapless, underappreciated ring finger. Its only nominal purpose to serve as a manequin for gold and diamonds. Most of us, if asked which finger we’d be willing to loose would most likely offer the ring finger. Sure, some would first volunteer the pinky, but after only the slightest contemplation the value of the pinky would become undeniable and its neighbor would be martyred instead.
The beauty of the ring finger lies in its sublety and its dependability. Like the pleasant singing of songbirds in a summer afternoon, the ring finger goes unnoticed and unappreciated, until it’s taken away from us. When contemplating our figners, it’s easy to think of the ring finger as somehow subservient to the middle finger and even the pinky. When moving our fingers, the ring finger can’t help but to move with the pinky and the middle finger, as if it has no volition of its own. But this weakness is actually its greatest strength. What at first we mistake for a lack of individuality and independence quickly reveals itself to be a deep sense of support and dedication to the other digits and to the integrity of the entire hand. Its apparent subservience is actually a deep sense of duty, honor, altruism, devotion, and sacrifice.
So I salute thee, ring finger! Too long have you gone unnoticed and underappreciated! I ask that all of us raise our left hands in silent salute to the ring finger. I propose the missing man formation as a fitting tribute to the tireless service our ring fingers have provided us all these years. Raise your left hand, palms out, finger raised. After a moment of silence, slowly lower the ring finger to form the missing man formation. Pause to contemplate how well your ring finger has served you.
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